:'(

I really do wish my life is colourful like what I see from my friends. Can’t blame me that I have the dark side of me. I do like to stay in the dark as for dark can calm me down, don’t need to see the things clearly which I don’t wish to be seen. As for bright, too bright might be killed me because like I said my life is uncolourful like my friends they are having. So I don’t wish to see things which is clearly and unhappy.
Maybe my problems that I’m having now are most propably minor for almost each everyone. But for me is different from you all. This is because I’m really sick and tired of my life like this for more than 10 years. What I’m suggested mostly disagree or said I’m immature did not think further.

Let’s see the other way round. Not to say I did not think further is just that I have my own reason to do it or not to do it. Just like a phrase come from chinese ‘Force is no happiness’ or maybe what you see just a fake happiness. I don’t know when I cannot bear it or to collapse. Perhaps I will start a big fight to confess my own real feelings. Why can’t I talk nicely? This is because talk in a nice way you would not listen and scold me perhaps.

I want my every day is full of joy instead of tears. I do really need my own freedom as well as my privacy. I really wish that I can move out due to I am sickening my life in the house. Even though if I really stay outside maybe not happy as I think but at least I have my own space to calm me down.

" A life without cause is a life without effect "