Especially for the first day of new year.
I suppose now almost each of you counting down for the year of 2012. How nice
Yet I'm staying in the room burst out tears as really sickening of my life.Why can't everyone can and I can't?
Is really pathetic! Used to it~~~~
So no big difference in2012 for me will going to be same unhappy,violent and etc...
Luckily I'm strong enough to face it and overcome it! :')
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
♥ Glutinous Cakes ♥
These 2 glutinous cakes were my hubby bought from his hometowm JB,but originated are from Taiwan. Both of them taste delicious but I prefer the yam which is in purple colour as you can see. As for the green colour is green tea.
Yes! I do love green tea but only drinks and ice-creams others I'm not really into it. That why I more prefer yam. At the meantime,green tea also taste not bad. Inside is full of the "thing" which I've forgotten what it calls in English.
Thanks hubby♥
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Christmas Eve
First of all, Merry X'mas Eve to all of you.
How you guys celebrate? By eating? Hang out with friends or family? Or maybe counting down with your love's one? That would be really sweet if can happen on me.
actually almost every year my Chritmas Eve and Christmas Day either is staying in the house like normal days do or maybe with my aunts as they do celebrate. But this year I dn't think I'm going to join them. This is because my calculative dad saying that so many members and we should buy those presents. Once in a blue moon,is okay for me. as long as is happy and also with family memebers.
Anyway,this do not relate to what I want to mention in this blog. I just had dinner with both of my parents. My bro is not here because he is joining with my cousin that has arrived to KL from Australia.
During the dinner, my mum was asking me about the Monday thing which is public holiday. I said I want to do my revision in the college library instead of in the house. For me, in the house I can't get a quiet environment that I want. Unless I wait until 2 or 3 am in the house. That's what I want. My mum said no and I said who is going to teach my accounting since I don't have the basic. My dad interrupted and I want is not the same generation as he did last time. Furthermore,insulting my friend is not good in it. Excuse me mr,she got an A in her accounting during her spm.
My dad said would not allow me to join any event unless is compulsory. That moment i really felt that my life was meaningless and I don't have a normal teenager's life. so as usual, i can't bare my tears so I just burst out in public. Not that I did it in purpose Was really cannot bare it. My mum asking what did I cry and my dad said don't give him the shed of tears and I'm very fake. always use tears to get something. It was really hurtful, that minute I really wanted to throw those bowls and chopsticks while I was eating as I really fed up and want to tell them living on their hands I'm really stressful and cannot do what I want even though just a simple thing.
After finished,we went into his car and my mum asked for my timetable and mentioned generally that I said before that you guys wouldn't let me took account during high school. My dad said is my fault because that time I did not tell them that I want. I was really fucking pissed off,I did say that I want and also useful in my college in future and yet you were blaming me? Is you are the one strongly did not let me to take extra this subject during that time and yet blaming. I really shook my head and as usual I cried at the back seat but they did not know. If not they would say I'm good in acting. So cried all the journey to home and continue in my room.
Soon,the war will begin! What a pathetic X'mas eve!
How you guys celebrate? By eating? Hang out with friends or family? Or maybe counting down with your love's one? That would be really sweet if can happen on me.
actually almost every year my Chritmas Eve and Christmas Day either is staying in the house like normal days do or maybe with my aunts as they do celebrate. But this year I dn't think I'm going to join them. This is because my calculative dad saying that so many members and we should buy those presents. Once in a blue moon,is okay for me. as long as is happy and also with family memebers.
Anyway,this do not relate to what I want to mention in this blog. I just had dinner with both of my parents. My bro is not here because he is joining with my cousin that has arrived to KL from Australia.
During the dinner, my mum was asking me about the Monday thing which is public holiday. I said I want to do my revision in the college library instead of in the house. For me, in the house I can't get a quiet environment that I want. Unless I wait until 2 or 3 am in the house. That's what I want. My mum said no and I said who is going to teach my accounting since I don't have the basic. My dad interrupted and I want is not the same generation as he did last time. Furthermore,insulting my friend is not good in it. Excuse me mr,she got an A in her accounting during her spm.
My dad said would not allow me to join any event unless is compulsory. That moment i really felt that my life was meaningless and I don't have a normal teenager's life. so as usual, i can't bare my tears so I just burst out in public. Not that I did it in purpose Was really cannot bare it. My mum asking what did I cry and my dad said don't give him the shed of tears and I'm very fake. always use tears to get something. It was really hurtful, that minute I really wanted to throw those bowls and chopsticks while I was eating as I really fed up and want to tell them living on their hands I'm really stressful and cannot do what I want even though just a simple thing.
After finished,we went into his car and my mum asked for my timetable and mentioned generally that I said before that you guys wouldn't let me took account during high school. My dad said is my fault because that time I did not tell them that I want. I was really fucking pissed off,I did say that I want and also useful in my college in future and yet you were blaming me? Is you are the one strongly did not let me to take extra this subject during that time and yet blaming. I really shook my head and as usual I cried at the back seat but they did not know. If not they would say I'm good in acting. So cried all the journey to home and continue in my room.
Soon,the war will begin! What a pathetic X'mas eve!
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
191211♥♥♥
Chirtsmas is just around the corner,so MERRY X'MAS everyone! Wish yall all the best in evrything what you do ;D
First of all,really need to say a big THANK YOU to my boyfie because he had this day off because of me. ♥I HEART U♥.This day I had a lunch with my boyfie at Tarc Restaurant and also his first time dining in this restaurant. How lame was it huh?! He studied there longer than me but did not try once before.
Anyway,back to topic.This was the best meal I ever had as was a happy and full laughter. LOL! My boyfie found it hard to use the cutlery to eat his food,what a pity.But still can make me laughed non-stop and also I almost got chocked because of this. Furthermore,my friend was nice gave me the snow couples from the dessert Chocolate U Log. By the way, it was delicious~
Later on,we hung out at Times Square for a while. at the meantime,we also did capture our memorable pictures from his very own DSLR.But this picture is captured from my mobile phone and what a reluctant smile he hed in this picture. LOL!♥
It was a memorable and fun day I ever had! ♥♥♥
♥Je'taime Mon Cheri♥
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Lifeless!
Sometimes really have that types of nasty minds which are how and when to end up my life or waiting someone to murder me instead of I commit suicide on my own.
Not a happy life I had in my passed 18 years.
Most of yall see I'm a cheerful girl actually deep inside I'm not that what yall think.
My feature has lied to you. What agood actress I am? LOL!
Dreams cannot be achived.
Things cannot be get even though is easy.
Parents?!? Forget about it~
Freedom? What I want most might hard to get it. Even though I'm nearly 19 years old.
Peaceful life? I want BUT... ...
Seems like every unhappy things also check in my list.
What can I say? This is part of my life,is pretty hard to get rid off it T___T
Not a happy life I had in my passed 18 years.
Most of yall see I'm a cheerful girl actually deep inside I'm not that what yall think.
My feature has lied to you. What a
Dreams cannot be achived.
Things cannot be get even though is easy.
Parents?!? Forget about it~
Freedom? What I want most might hard to get it. Even though I'm nearly 19 years old.
Peaceful life? I want BUT... ...
Seems like every unhappy things also check in my list.
What can I say? This is part of my life,is pretty hard to get rid off it T___T
Things should not be believed in 100%
I won’t really believe everything in 100% truthfully , not to say I don’t want. It just that I choose not too!
Unless is my own very fairy God Mother comes down and tell me to do so. But I don’t think this going to be happened or maybe not happen on me.
Why would I say that?
This is because mostly what I’ve seen and experienced were not I expected or hope for. Sometimes things cannot be trusted so easily. Most of the things to let me not to believe in 100%
LOVE it??? Nah , I don't think so!
So freaking darn!
Unless is my own very fairy God Mother comes down and tell me to do so. But I don’t think this going to be happened or maybe not happen on me.
Why would I say that?
This is because mostly what I’ve seen and experienced were not I expected or hope for. Sometimes things cannot be trusted so easily. Most of the things to let me not to believe in 100%
So freaking darn!
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Gloomy Days
Passed few days I'm really indeed sad,pain and full of stress. I don't know when I'll be okay with it or should I say that i don't know when can get a day which is happy and relax moment at least a peaceful day. Please! I do really need that. Although,this not the good timing to say this as my dad is sick but this few days have made me think a lot and further. I do really need freedom I don't want to be in the cage. Isn't it the timing to let me go? Furthermore, when you let go i didn't say I will not come back . Yes! I do have a mindset that I don't want to come back but no matter how I dislike I also need to come back because I got to do my part either. I'm really stressful! I do really need a break.
My look is pretty awful due to these few days lack of sleep and cry unstoppable. Especially my eyes so swollen as you can see. I'm really dislike for my current life now! I need to escape! Anyone willing to rescue me out or reach out to help me? I will be very thankful for that person,but is really hard. Harder than I expect,too much of expectation will make me more upset even cry a lot. although cry is useless but for is the only method to release myself stressful and pain I'm facing.
In somehow,I do really miss the moment that you made me laugh . I hope that you can right beside me but is sort of impossible to be happened. This is because of my fault.Can't blame you but only can blame myself.
Friday, December 2, 2011
:'(
I really do wish my life is colourful like what I see from my friends. Can’t blame me that I have the dark side of me. I do like to stay in the dark as for dark can calm me down, don’t need to see the things clearly which I don’t wish to be seen. As for bright, too bright might be killed me because like I said my life is uncolourful like my friends they are having. So I don’t wish to see things which is clearly and unhappy.
Maybe my problems that I’m having now are most propably minor for almost each everyone. But for me is different from you all. This is because I’m really sick and tired of my life like this for more than 10 years. What I’m suggested mostly disagree or said I’m immature did not think further.
Let’s see the other way round. Not to say I did not think further is just that I have my own reason to do it or not to do it. Just like a phrase come from chinese ‘Force is no happiness’ or maybe what you see just a fake happiness. I don’t know when I cannot bear it or to collapse. Perhaps I will start a big fight to confess my own real feelings. Why can’t I talk nicely? This is because talk in a nice way you would not listen and scold me perhaps.
I want my every day is full of joy instead of tears. I do really need my own freedom as well as my privacy. I really wish that I can move out due to I am sickening my life in the house. Even though if I really stay outside maybe not happy as I think but at least I have my own space to calm me down.
" A life without cause is a life without effect "
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